Ron, Rufus, and the Superbird
by EDD17SP
Summary: Some silly little stories where Ron burns off his eyebrows, defeats Professor Dementor, teams up with Motor Ed, and shares a few sweet moments with Kim, all surrounding a classic car from 1970.
1. The Wrong Way to Start a Car

**I know I've been pretty committed to the Phineas and Ferb fandom, but every once in a while, I go on a Kim Possible kick and have to rewatch…like…all the episodes again. (That series was entirely too short.) I've always thought the KP fandom was just as perfect for fanfiction as P+F, but I've never tried it because…well, because I'm pretty committed to P+F. But I saw something on TV and said, "That looks like something Ron would do," and I just simply had to write this even though it is so out of character for Ron…and yet, so in character.**

 **I don't know, I'm stupid. You'll see. Maybe. I hope.**

 **This takes place during the summer vacation between the series finale (graduation from high school) and college. I tried writing an explanation for WHY Ron is doing what he's doing, but it just sounded…well…stupid. So I just skipped to the good part.**

 **Ron, Rufus, and the Superbird**

Ron had never really been very mechanically adept.

Well, he wasn't really all that adept at anything except for maybe running away, but when it came to working with anything mechanical, Ron was completely clueless, to say the least.

So why was he in his garage wearing a sweat-soaked tank top and staring into the engine bay of a Plymouth Superbird? Well, at the moment, it was because he was trying to get the forty-year-old engine to turn over.

Inside the car, Rufus was perched on a homemade contraption that Ron had made out of Lego bricks. It allowed the naked mole rat to reach the ignition key while a baseball bat wedged between the driver's seat and the clutch kept said pedal depressed so that the engine would hopefully start.

But Ron was having no such luck. He had read that spraying ether into the air intake on the carburetor would often provide the extra-volatility required to turn over a stubborn engine, and had exhausted nearly the entire can of starting fluid trying to bring the Hemi back to life.

"Try it again, Rufus!"

The little mole rat twisted the key. The starter motor slowly cranked the engine. It sputtered a few times, sounding like it might start, but the old starter, which Ron did not realize was far too small for the big block 426, failed in its effort.

"Gahhh!" Ron groaned. "Why can't you just be a good engine and start?!" He raised the ether can to the intake again and held down the sprayer, but after a few seconds, it sputtered just like the motor, its contents expended. "Aaaaand I'm out of starter fluid. Great." He tossed the can aside, thinking hard. "Hmmm…"

Rufus jumped to the open window and crept along to edge of the Superbird's fender to Ron's side.

"Okay, wait, I got this. Engines run from little explosions inside the cylinders, right? So maybe a bigger explosion will help turn the crankshaft and force it to start!"

Rufus wasn't sure when Ron had actually had the time to read the automotive literature necessary to restore the Plymouth, and was surprised he had actually retained any of it at all. Whatever the case, Ron had an idea.

And, like most of Ron's ideas, it probably wouldn't end well.

* * *

"Bye, Mom! I'm going over to Ron's!"

"Okay, Kim. If he's working on that car of his, keep a safe distance!"

Kim chuckled, knowing that her mother was right but still finding it funny. "Okay, Mom. See you later." She closed the door, setting off for her boyfriend's house at a brisk walk. "As if," she said to herself. "I have to stay close in case he needs medical attention."

* * *

Ron quickly grabbed an empty soda bottle out of the recycling bin and carefully poured some gasoline into it from the can in the corner. He retook his place under the hood and positioned the mouth of the bottle just above the intake. Rufus returned to his perch inside the car, shielding his eyes with his free paw, terrified at the thought of what might happen when he turned the key.

"Okay, Rufus! Hit it!"

At that very moment, Kim was walking up the driveway. She thought it was kind of adorable how hard her BF was working on his little project. She honestly had expected him to give up on it after a week or two, and was proud of his diligence.

Ron was determined. He had actually read books and done research, something that surprised Kim so much that she actually asked Dr. Drakken if he had zapped him with some sort of ray. With a little instructional assistance from Wade via the internet, Ron (and Rufus) had somehow managed to piece together the Superbird from what had started as a bare frame.

And he only had to go to the hospital twice.

But, as much as it looked like a complete car, Kim had her doubts that Ron would ever get it running. There was simply no way Ron could acquire the mechanical skill necessary to correctly overhaul a four decade old engine just from reading a few books. Still, he looked cute working so hard on the old car, and it made her smile as she caught sight of him hunched over beneath the huge hood of the Plymouth.

"Hit it!"

Rufus looked away and turned the key. As soon as the starter began to spin, Ron poured gasoline into the intake.

A second later, the carburetor belched out a ball fire, exploding with a _poof!_ as it reached the open air.

"AHH!" Ron cried, unintentionally flinging the now on-fire bottle of gasoline out the garage door as he covered his hot face with his forearms. He stumbled over backwards, landing hard on his rear on the concrete floor.

Kim saw the flash of fire and sprinted to the garage. In a second, she was kneeling at Ron's side; Rufus joined her a moment later, squeaking excitedly with concern.

"Ron! Ron, are you okay?!" she asked, her voice laced with panic.

"KP?" He parted his arms just enough that he could see her. "I think my life just flashed before my eyes."

"The only thing that flashed before your eyes was a fireball, Ron. You're lucky you didn't set yourself on fire or burn your garage down." She stood and looked to where the soda bottle was smoldering in the driveway before holding out a hand to him. It wasn't until she hauled him to his feet that she actually got a good look at her boyfriend's face. "Um…Ron?"

Ron could see the look of concern on Kim's face. "What? What is it? Am I horribly burned?" The boy started to panic. "Have I been horribly disfigured for life?!"  
"No, but, uh…" Kim reached into her pocket and extracted her compact, which she directed toward Ron's face. "Your eyebrows are, uh, sorta gone."

Ron snatched the mirror and held it close to his face. Sure enough, his eyebrows had been completely singed off, leaving the top half of his face looking rather vacant.

"Aww, man! My eyebrows are my best feature! Or, I guess, _were_ my best feature."

Kim opened her mouth to make a sarcastic comment, but her ears picked up a sound that made her freeze. She simply couldn't believe it. "Ron?"

Her boyfriend was not paying her any attention. He was too busy staring at himself in the mirror and rubbing the spot where his eyebrows had been.

"Ron!"

He snapped to attention. "Huh? What?"

Kim pointed to the engine bay of the Plymouth. "Your car!"

"What about it?"

"It's running!"

"It is?!"

The Hemi was not running smoothly by even the loosest definition. It clanked and banged and sounded like it wanted to stall out, but sure enough, it was running.

"It is! It's running!" He gave a triumphant fist pump. "Booyah!"

"Ron, I'm so- _hurk_!" Kim was suddenly cut off by a crushing hug. She coughed a few times when Ron released her.

"Whoops, sorry, KP. You were saying?"

"I said I'm- *cough* proud of you!" she sputtered.

"I gotta admit," he said, leaning against the fender and trying to appear cool, "the ol' Ron-man did a pretty bang up job of restoring this ol' heap." He slammed the hood closed. "C'mon! I've been itchin' to go for a drive!"

Kim crossed her arms. "Ron, this car isn't registered. You can't legally drive it on the road."

He was too eager to listen. He removed Rufus's booster platform and baseball bat and jumped into the driver's seat while his pet buckled into the passenger side. Ron grabbed his sunglasses off the dashboard and pushed them onto his face. Rufus had materialized glasses of his own and they sat back into the seats, feeling like the most badical dudes on the planet.

Kim simply watched, no longer intent on stopping them after noticing a fairly major flaw in Ron's plan. She smirked, finding it rather humorous.

"Let's hit the road!" Ron cried triumphantly as he depressed the clutch and shifted into first gear.

Suddenly the engine sputtered, shook hard enough to rattle the entire car, and stalled out.

Kim covered her mouth, trying to keep from laughing as Ron's face wrinkled in confusion. "I see two problems with your plan, Mr. Andretti," she chuckled as she leaned on the open window. "One, you have no idea how to drive a stick, and two, your back wheels are still on jack stands."

Ron sank down in the worn out leather seat. "Oh." Rufus groaned in disappointment.

Kim smiled and cupped her hand under his chin, turning his head to face hers. His eyes met hers and he felt a happy warmth spread through his chest. She spoke softly. "But you are adorable. Even without your eyebrows."

And as her lips met his, Ron couldn't help but feel lucky; partially because he hadn't set the garage on fire, but mostly because he had Kim. Sure, he was far from being a world renowned mechanic, not that he really had any desire to be, and he wasn't sure the Superbird would ever run like new again, but in the end, it didn't matter. He and his best friend were in love.

And isn't that really the most important thing in the world?

 **Jeez, that ending was sickeningly sweet even for ME. Nothing like an overly sweet ending for a stupid story.**


	2. Four Wheels Vs 2 Legs

**I decided that one story about Ron's Superbird just wasn't enough. As a Kim Possible fanfic, it would only be right that the car be involved in a mission, too…**

The sun was sinking low in the sky when Kim and Ron left Bueno Nacho. Ablaze with color, the sky had become a giant watercolor painting for the world to enjoy. The warm air was kissed by a gentle breeze, and Kim could not help thinking that a more perfect summer evening could not be had.

"What a beautiful evening," she whispered as she took Ron's hand.

"Yeah," he sighed. "It's so peaceful."

Rufus, riding on Ron's shoulder, nodded and chittered, "Mhm! Mhm! Peaceful!"

Kim chuckled to herself as they headed toward Ron's car at the end of the parking lot. "I don't think I can ever remember a time in our lives that was quite this…quiet, I suppose. No school to worry about until the fall, no Bonnie drama…"

Ron could already tell what she would say next. "And no bad guys to fight."

"Ha, yeah."

Ever since the Earth's close shave with the Lorwardian invaders, crime across the globe had been at an all-time low, especially when it came to villains aiming for world domination.

Ron let go of his girlfriend's hand to fish his keys from his pocket. He had insisted on driving them everywhere since he had gotten the Plymouth Superbird running. The car still hadn't been painted, though, so he was glad for the good weather. Rain on an unpainted steel car body was only a recipe for rust.

Playing up a true gentleman, Ron unlocked and opened the passenger door for Kim. "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"You know. World saving." He circled the car and hopped into the driver's seat. Rufus bounced cheerfully onto the dashboard.

"To be honest, I am really enjoying taking it slow for a change."

"I know what you mean, KP." Ron turned the ignition key. Though he had managed to get the engine running more smoothly, (with some help from Wade) he still was not aware of the fact that he had chosen a starter that was much too small. The engine chugged loudly for far longer than it should have needed to and then rattled enough to shake the whole car before reluctantly turning over. Ron gave the dash an affectionate pat. "For a change, it's nice to leave going fast to the Superbird!"

Kim chuckled. "Ron, no offense, but my car is _way_ faster than this."

"Come on! Kim, this thing was designed specifically for NASCAR!"

"Yeah, in 1970! Besides, my car has rockets, and also it can fly."

Ron opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but could think of nothing worthwhile to say. "Yeah, okay. You're right. Slow life, slow car." His head hung just slightly.

Kim was met with a glare from Rufus. When a naked mole rat lowers its eyes at you, it has a way of transmitting a very strong unspoken message.

It also leaves one feeling very silly.

Kim sighed. "Come on, Ron," she coaxed, giving his shoulder a gentle shake. "Let's go back to my place. I'm in the mood to snuggle with my boyfriend and watch some mindless television like a normal, slow moving high school grad."

It took him a moment, but Ron finally raised his head again. "I do likes me the cuddling."

"I know you do." She kissed him on the cheek.

A small smile worked its way onto Ron's face. "Okay, let's go." He backed out of the parking space and left the Bueno Nacho parking lot, turning to head toward Kim's house.

Suddenly, a pair of massive feet attached to giant, silvery-metallic legs crash-landed in the middle of the street right in front of them. Ron jammed on the binders, the lack of anti-lock brakes causing the big Plymouth to skid on the pavement. It came to a stop just inches away from a collision with the…

…whatever it was.

Rufus hopped to Ron's shoulder to get a better look as both humans poked their respective heads out the open windows. The biped walker was at least five stories tall and each foot was larger than the Superbird. Perched on a platform on the very top was the walker's operator. He was too far away for the pair to see, but his voice was unmistakable.

"KIM POSSIBLLLLE!"

The girl in question rolled her eyes. "Oh, great. Dementor."

"I GROW TIRED OF ASKING!" Professor Dementor bellowed. His voice was amplified by a speaker system, but the loud-mouthed villain didn't really need it. "I! WANT! THAT! BATTLESUIT!"

Kim cupped her hand around her mouth. "I don't have it! In fact, I have no idea where it is!" It was true. When Kim's house had been destroyed by a Lorwardian walker two months ago, her battlesuit had disappeared among the rubble. Of course, Wade had built a tracking feature into it, but, apparently, despite the self-healing technology, the electronics had been so badly damaged by the electromagnetic disruptions of the alien invaders that even he could not find it.

Of course, even if she had taken the time to explain all that, Dementor was never really one much for listening. "Lies! I want it! And you are going to give it to me!"

Ron scoffed. "Yeah? Or what?"

"I am so glad you asked!"

Dementor fiddled with his control panel for a moment and the left leg raised up. In a split second, the foot was casting its shadow directly over the Superbird.

"Eep!" Rufus gasped.

"If you do not give to me the battlesuit before I am counting down from ten, then I will turn you and your goofy sidekick into filling for a steel pancake! And don't even think about running away, the second I see your doors open, I'll push the button and squish you like little, insignificant bugs!"

"Oh, boy…" squeaked Rufus, and he hid behind Ron's neck.

The boy grinned. "Don't worry, buddy. It's your standard evil villain's walker. Kim's got this, don't ya, Kim?"

But she didn't look so sure. "Uh…hopefully." _That thing is smooth all the way to the top. Nothing to hold onto, so no way I can climb up. And there's no way I can jump five stories to the top…_ It had been so long since they had been called for a mission that Kim had stopped carrying the vast majority of her gadgets. She searched through her pockets, hoping that she had remembered the one thing she still carried. "Ah, got it!" She held up a small tube and pulled off the cap.

"Laser lipstick?" Ron asked.

"Yup. Wade gave it a little power up. I should be able to slice that thing right in half." Kim leaned out the window and triggered the laser. The beam ricocheted off the slick surface of the walker. Kim gasped and ducked as the laser sliced off the passenger side mirror.

Dementor laughed loudly. "Oh, did you think it would be that easy? I thought ahead! The sides are too slick to climb, _and_ they are impervious to the lasers!

"Now, I am counting from ten! If you refuse to tell me where the battlesuit is, then, well...you know!"

"Uh, Ron?" Kim whispered. "Now might be a good time to do that thing you're really good at…"

"TEN!"

Ron was puzzled. "I'm good at something?"

"Yeah, running away."

"Ohhhh. Yeah, that is definitely a skill I have perfected."

"NINE!"

Ron quickly depressed the clutch and shifted to reverse. Unfortunately, in his rush to get away, he let the clutch out too quickly. The Plymouth jolted backwards as the transmission tried to find the gear and then stalled out, still beneath the walker's foot. Rufus facepalmed. Kim's annoyed glare was met with a nervous chuckle. "Heh heh. Whoops."

"EIGHT!"

Jamming the shifter into neutral, Ron stomped on the clutch and twisted the ignition key. The starter slowly cranked the motor, but as before, it was unwilling to turn over. "C'mon…c'mon…"

"SEVEN!"

"C'mon-c'mon-c'mon-c'mon-c'mon!" Ron panicked, trying the key a second and then third time.

"Ron...!"

"I'm trying, Kim, I'm trying!"

"SIX!"

"Ron, you're going to flood it!"

"I'm not gonna flood it, and also, what does that mean?"

Rufus just covered his eyes. He couldn't bear to look.

"FIVE!"

Again and again, Ron twisted the key forward, but the Hemi just refused to start.

"Come on…be a good little car and start…please?"

"FOUR!"

"Ron!"

"I'm trying, Kim!" Ron yelled desperately. "The dumb thing just won't start!"

"Well, try harder!"

"THREE!"

Nervous sweat was beginning to trickle down Ron's face. He held the key forward until his thumb began to hurt. The motor cranked, but still would not fire.

"C'mon, you stupid bucket o' bolts, START!" He punctuated his outburst by pounding his fist against the dashboard.

Miraculously, though probably just by some coincidence, the engine turned over with a roar.

"Wow. I didn't think that would actually work."

"TWO!"

"Ron!" Kim practically screamed.

"Oh, yeah, right."

He slammed the stick into reverse and carefully let out the clutch as he pressed the accelerator to the floor. The Superbird shot backwards in a flash. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" its startled passengers cried in unison.

Dementor was taken rather by surprise. He blinked, confused.

Ron turned the wheel hard and slammed the brake pedal to the floor. Squeals from the tires filled the air as the Superbird spun around, facing away from Dementor's walker.

"You will not get away from me that easily, Kim Possible!" the villain called. Slowly, the walker advanced. It gained speed very slowly. "Darn it, I knew I should have made the gearing shorter!"

With not a moment to lose, Ron shifted into first gear and took off down the road. At first, they accelerated away from Dementor with ease, but once the walker gained momentum, the gap separating them began to shirk.

"Uh, KP," Ron said nervously as he swerved around a car ahead of him. "I'm assuming you've got a plan by now?"

"Uhhh…let's see…I can't cut it with a laser…I can't climb it to fight Dementor one-on-one…" Kim glanced backward. The walker was drawing closer, it's long metallic legs clanging against the pavement.

Long, metallic legs…

"I have an idea!" She stuck her head out the window and scanned the area. It didn't take long for her to spot what she was looking for. "Ron, turn right!"

"Where?"

"HERE!"

Ron slammed on the brakes and wrenched the wheel to the right. The wheels locked up and the heavy car very nearly slid into the curb. "Rrrrrrg!" Ron groaned as he wrestled with the steering wheel. Rufus squealed as he clung to the side of the seat for dear life. Somehow, Ron managed the turn baring any collisions.

Dementor's walker, on the other hand, was not quite as maneuverable. It clomped on further down the street as its operator let loose a barrage of frustrated profanity.

Meanwhile, Team Possible was flying down the street again. "Where am I going, KP?"

Kim pointed up the road. "Turn into that construction site!"

"On it!" Now having plenty of time to react, Ron slowed and made the turn at a much safer speed. The Superbird still bounced hard over the low curb. "Now what?"

"See that crane over there?"

Painted bright yellow, the heavy duty lifter reached high into the sky, its height about two stories taller than Dementor's walker.

Ron's mouth curled into a determined grin. He drove carefully over the bumpy ground, avoiding deep ruts as best he could, making his way to the crane.

"Stop right underneath where the hook is hanging down," Kim instructed.

Ron did so. The instant the Plymouth came to a stop, Kim jumped from the car, racing to the unoccupied cab of the crane. She quickly found the lever that controlled the cable spool and released it, letting out slack.

Meanwhile, Ron had exited the car as well, watching his girlfriend and waiting for instruction.

"Ron, grab the hook!" Kim yelled.

"Okay. What am I doing with it?" he asked as he hefted up the heavy hunk of metal. Meanwhile, the steel cable was still reeling off the spool, gathering into a pile on the ground.

"Hook it to your car's spoiler!"

Ron glanced at the giant aerodynamic wing that grew out of the rear fenders of his car. "I am really glad I haven't painted this thing yet." He slung the hook around the wing and closed the safety latch. "Now what?"

Kim climbed from the cab of the crane. Dementor's walker was just entering the construction site, moving slowly as the villain searched for them. She had to be quick. "Get in the car and hide! I'm going to distract Dementor!" She began climbing the crisscrossing beams up the arm of the crane like a ladder. "As soon as the walker stops moving, start driving circles around it!"

Ron smiled. "Oh, KP, that is a great plan!"

"Glad you like it! Now, hurry! Get out of sight!"

"C'mon, Rufus!" Without a moment to spare, Ron drove backward behind the crane, stopping in just the right spot so that the machine blocked the Superbird from view, but still allowed him to see his girlfriend climbing to the top of the arm.

Meanwhile, Kim had nearly reached the top of the crane arm. Propelling herself forward and upward with a great heave from her strong arms, she leaped up the last ten feet or so and landed gracefully upon the tip.

Dementor was still piloting his walker slowly around the construction site, carefully seeking his adversaries anywhere they might be hiding. He had not yet seen her. She waited until he was almost underneath her.

 _Twenty feet or so...can't forget to bend the knees..._

"Hey, Dementor!" she called. "Looking for me?"

The villain looked up, his eyes widening in surprise as he found her perched atop the crane. Before he could even react, she jumped from her perch, skillfully bending her knees as she landed just a few feet away from Dementor. She shot him a sly grin. "I don't even need my battlesuit to fight you, Dementor. Come on." She taunted him with her hand. "Let's dance."

It was Dementor's turn to smile. "Oh, so you want to dance, now, Miss Possible? Fine!" In a single swift motion, he reached into his coat and withdrew a ray gun, pointing it at Kim. "Then dance!" He fired off a rapid salvo of shots, which Kim quickly evaded as she flipped through the air.

Ron and Rufus watched the fight unfold from the ground. "I think Dementor is pretty distracted now," Ron stated. "What do you think, buddy?"

The little naked mole rat nodded. "Mhm, mhm. Hit it!" he squeaked.

Ron narrowed his eyes. "Copy that!" He threw the Superbird into gear and accelerated quickly, the engine growling as the car sped from its hiding place. He steered for the legs of Dementor's walker. "Let's do this!"

"Yay-hey!" Rufus cheered.

As Ron began circling the legs of the walker, Kim was still keeping Dementor busy. As he continued to fire the ray gun at her, she somersaulted toward him, eventually drawing close enough to dive-kick the gun from his hand. "Ouch!" he cried, falling over backwards. The ray gun bounced once on the control deck of the walker and then plummeted to the ground.

"Not so tough now," Kim mocked as Dementor clutched his sore hand. "Are you?"

"I would not be so hasty to start with the gloating," he scowled. With his uninjured hand, he fished into his pocket and retrieved a small device, which he activated with the press of a button before throwing it at Kim. She quickly dove out of the way as the little explosive went off with a bang.

Dementor quickly scrambled to his feet and rushed back to the walker's control panel. He grabbed the motion sticks and lurched them forward, causing the legs to bend sharply at the knees, tilting the platform atop the walker to a 45 degree angle. Kim was thrown off balance, falling over onto her stomach. "Whoaaaaa!" She slid to the edge of the platform, hastily grabbing hold.

Five stories below her, Ron was enjoying himself. He had discovered that by holding the steering wheel over to the left, he could turn the car to the right simply by spinning the tires in the dirt. He controlled the constant slide with the gas pedal, and had succeeded in wrapping the steel crane cable around the legs of the walker about two dozen times.

"Aw, yeah! Let's see that dumb walker get out of this!" Ron cheered.

Rufus squeaked an enthusiastic agreement. He looked up when he saw the top of the walker lurch. As they rounded to the side that tilted toward the ground, the naked mole rat cried out as he spotted Kim dangling precariously from the side of the platform. He pointed to her, chittering frantically, managing to get Ron's attention.

He gasped. "KIM!" Ron slammed on the brakes right below his girlfriend, jumping out of the car almost before it came to a stop, forgetting to even set the parking brake. The Superbird, still in gear, began to roll again. Rufus squealed in terror and quickly jumped to the brake handle, bracing his feet against the dashboard to pull it out before the car rolled very far. The Plymouth jerked to a halt and Rufus breathed a sigh of relief.

"KIM!" Ron yelled.

"Ron!" she cried back. "I'm slipping!" _And there's no way I can stick a landing from 50 feet up without breaking my legs...or more!_

"Yes, Miss Possible, that you are!" Dementor cried. "That's it! Fall! Fall to your doom!" And he laughed maniacally.

"Kim!" Ron yelled again. "Let go!" He stretched out his arms. "I'll catch you!"

 _Here's hoping playing football gave Ron at least some upper body strength._ And she let go, letting gravity turn her on her back so that Ron could more easily catch her.

Ron braced himself for the impact, holding both arms outstretched in front of him. Kim fell perfectly into his arms...

...but the collision still caused him to lose his balance and fall over on top of her. _"Oof!"_ At the very least, he cushioned Kim's drop enough to prevent any injury.

"Sorry, KP," he said as he helped her to her feet.

"Sorry? For what? I didn't get hurt, did I?"

"...I don't know. Did you?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh. Well, in that case, booyah!"

"NO! NOT BOOYAH!" Dementor yelled, leaning over the edge of the platform to see them. "Where is the splat?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Professor," Kim called up to him.

"FINE! I will just make the splat MYSELF!"

Kim and Ron watched him scramble away from the platform's edge, obviously heading back to the control panel.

"Time to go?" Ron asked.

"Yup."

They raced back to the Superbird, Kim briefly stopping to cut the cable loose from the spoiler with her laser lipstick before diving into the passenger seat. The car kicked up a cloud of dust as Ron floored the gas, driving quickly away to safety as Dementor raised the walker's leg to pursue.

The cable wrapped around the legs caught on the walker's foot, binding up the walking motion. As if in slow motion, the walker began to tip forward.

"What?!" Dementor cried in confusion. "No no no no no!"

Sufficiently out of harm's way, Ron spun the car around. "Oh, good, we didn't miss the best part."

A satisfied smile curled onto Kim's face as she took Ron's hand. "Yeah, it never gets old."

With a tremendous crash, Dementor's silvery metallic walker collapsed to the ground. Rufus pumped his fist in the air triumphantly. "Yay!"

* * *

Unable to keep his sleepy eyelids open any longer, Ron flicked off the TV and wrapped his arm tighter around his snoozing girlfriend. After their adventure, they'd returned to the Possible's new home and cuddled up on the couch in front of the TV. Of course, they'd had to endure the expected teasing from Jim and Tim, but after the twins' bedtime, they'd had peace and quiet for the rest of the evening.

Rufus was snoring loudly on the back of the couch and Kim had fallen asleep half an hour ago nestled in Ron's arms.

 _Nacos eaten, bad guy defeated, tv watched, girlfriend cuddled. Yup. Perfect way to end the day._ "Goodnight, Kim," Ron whispered, not wanting to wake her.

He didn't realize that Kim had actually been awake the entire time. She whispered back to him, "First thing in the morning, we are fixing that starter. Goodnight, Ron."


	3. Motor Ron, Motor Rufus, and Motor Ed 1

**Motor Ron, Motor Rufus, and Motor Ed**

 **Part 1**

 **This is going to be at least a two parter, maybe even three, I don't know yet. I had a ton of fun writing this chapter, I think this may be one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you like it!**

 **Also, I just want to quickly thank everyone who reviewed on Chapter 2. Usually I take the time to individually reply to every review I receive, but I've been really busy and just didn't have the time. So, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! On that same note, I am not sure when part 2 of this tale will be because of that same busyness I just mentioned, but don't worry, I will get to it!**

 **Without further ado, here is the main event.**

"Ron, it's only two days," Kim reminded her boyfriend as she attempted to extract herself from his grip. "I'll be back before you know it."

"But...two whole days..." Ron moaned. "I hate being apart from you. I always have, for as long as I've known you."

Kim smiled. "You're so sweet, Ron. But it's not the end of the world." She felt Ron's hold on her slacken a bit at those words. She assumed he was remembering the last time she had said them.

Reluctantly, Ron released her. "Okay," he said quietly. "You're right. Maybe I'll use the alone time to finally paint my car. Give me something to take my mind off of you...you know...not being here."

Kim smiled. "That's the spirit. Oh, here." She reached into her pocket and removed a familiar object that Ron hadn't seen in quite some time. It was the original handheld Kimmunicator. She placed it in his hand. "Here. This way you can talk to me, and Wade, you know, just in case."

"Oh, thanks KP. That does make me feel a little better."

"I thought it might."

From the driveway, Anne Possible called out, "Come on, Kim, we don't want to be late for our flight!"

"Coming, Mom!" Kim smiled at Ron once more. "I'll see you on Tuesday," she said, and gave him a small kiss. Then she whispered, "I love you, Ron."

Ron could feel his heart flutter. "I love you, too, KP."

Then she quickly ran off to join her family. Ron waited and watched until the Possible's old van disappeared from sight before slowly turning and heading home. Rufus, who had been snoozing in Ron's pocket, poked his head out for a look around. Ron noticed him.

"Oh, hey, buddy." He pulled Rufus from his pocket and held him in his hands to talk to him. "Have a nice nap?"

Rufus nodded. "Mhm, mhm!" Noticing that Ron seemed sullen, the little mole rat cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"Oh, it's nothing," Ron shrugged. "Just a little...okay, a lot sad. I barely know what to do with myself without Kim. We've spent basically our whole lives in each other's company. It's weird being without her. I don't know what to do with myself."

Rufus thought for a moment. "Hmm...Cheese?" he squeaked.

Instantly, Ron perked up. "I suppose a little Nacho of the Bueno variety could cheer me up a little."

"Eep! Eep!" Rufus squeaked excitedly, rubbing his belly.

They took off down the street, Ron at a dead run, heading for his home. He was a block away when he heard the Kimmunicator's familiar four-tone ring. His face lit up with excitement as he quickly fished it from his pocket, expecting it to be Kim, and tapped the answer call button. When Wade's face appeared on the screen, he felt more than a little disappointed.

"Hey, Ron. Kim told me that she was giving you the old Kimmunicator while she was away. You okay? You look kinda gloomy."

Ron shook it off and continued walking. He placed Rufus on his shoulder. "No, no, I'm fine. What's the sitch, Wade?" He chuckled. "I don't get to say that very often."

"I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's been a rash of car thefts all around the country."

"Isn't that, you know, a pretty common thing?"

"Well, yes, but I'm talking strictly classic cars," Wade explained. "So far, 46 cases. They're being stolen right out of people's garages, vanishing without a trace. No alarms triggered, no locks broken, and no security camera footage. Considering that you yourself are the owner of a rather rare classic car, I figured I'd better give you a warning."

"Don't worry, Wade. My Superbird is locked up tight at home. And besides, you'd have to be pretty foolish to steal the car of one of the world's top crime fighters!"

"Yeah, I guess it would be kind of ill advised to steal Kim's car," Wade joked. "But you're the one with the classic."

"Ha ha," Ron laughed sarcastically. "Very funny." He had reached his house and strolled up the driveway. "But trust me, Wade, ol' buddy, ain't no one is gonna steal my Superbird. I mean, why would they want to? It's not even painted." He opened the garage door.

It was empty. Rufus gasped.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"'Uhhhh,' what?" asked Wade.

"'Uhhh,' my car is gone!"

On the other end of the Kimmunicator, Wade facepalmed.

"Okay, wait, hold on," Ron mused. He quickly glanced outside. "My parents' car is gone. Maybe Mom has the car and Dad took my car somewhere." He disconnected the Kimmunicator and dashed into the house, knocking over a decorative table in his haste. When he saw his dad sitting at the kitchen table, his heart sank.

"Hello, Ronald," Mr. Stoppable greeted. "Is Kimberly off to London?"

"Yeah, she just left. Dad, where are my car keys?"

Mr. Stoppable picked up a key ring from the table. "Here you go."

His heart sinking, Ron took the keys from his father."Oh...thanks." If the keys weren't in the car, then it wasn't being driven, and that could only mean one thing. He slunk back out to the garage, feeling as though he might cry. Rufus already was.

It was just a few seconds later that the Kimmunicator beeped again. Wade appeared on the screen yet again. "Well?"

Ron just shook his head. "It's gone, Wade. My beloved Superbird is gone, and Kim is gone, and..." He looked at Rufus on his shoulder. "Oh, no...They always say bad luck comes in threes!" The naked mole rat's eyes about bugged out of his head as Ron snatched him from his shoulder and hugged him to his chest. "What if that means I'm going to lose Rufus next?!"

"Ron, calm down!" Wade cried. He could see the distress on Rufus's face. "You're crushing Rufus!"

"Whoops." Ron quickly released his pet. "Sorry, buddy."

Rufus said nothing. He just collapsed on the floor and panted hard for breath.

"Look, Ron," Wade coaxed. "If we figure out who's behind all these weird car thefts, we'll find your Superbird."

Ron's face tightened in anger. "I've got a pretty good idea where to start looking."

"Motor Ed?"

"Motor Ed."

* * *

For a change, Ron felt not even the tiniest twinge of fear as he watched the ground pass under him from 5,000 feet in the air. He was far too cranked to remember that he was not a fan of jumping out of airplanes.

The earpiece linked to the Kimmunicator in his pocket beeped and he gently touched it. Wade's voice filled his ear. "Okay, Ron. You should be directly above Motor Ed's new hideout in about 30 seconds. Just jump when I tell you and you should land right on top of it."

"Gotcha." He strapped his goggles to his face, and Rufus, holding on to a pocket on the parachute harness, did the same.

It wasn't long before Wade spoke again. "Get ready. Five seconds to jump...four...three...two...now!"

Ignoring every convention of skydiving, Ron jumped like an Olympic swimmer, plunging straight down through the lower atmosphere. His actions were almost involuntary as he turned himself right side up and pulled the release cord. The parachute unfolded above him and his speed slowed. He drifted along, knees bent, and landed perfectly on the tar roof of an old garage.

"When you said I was directly above Motor Ed's hideout, I didn't think you meant that literally," Ron told Wade. "I was expecting to land, you know, on the ground."

"I thought this might give you a stealth advantage," Wade explained.

"Oh." Ron removed his goggles and unstrapped himself from the parachute. Rufus hopped onto his shoulder. "Nice thinking."

"Thanks."

"HEY!"

Ron lowered his eyes. Moving to the edge of the roof revealed the source of the voice, directly below him. Motor Ed was staring back at him, looking both angry and rather confused.

"What are you doing on my roof, Skinny Dude? Like, Seriously."

It took just a second for Ron to decide on his next action. He dove off the roof, leading with his right forearm. Ed's eyes widened in surprise, not expecting the collision. Though the skinny teen was less than half his weight, Ed was still hit with a good bit of momentum and he was knocked over backwards.

"Oof!" he groaned. Within a second, Ron had picked himself up off the ground and was kneeling on Motor Ed's midsection, balled fist raised above his head.

"Where's my car?!" Ron yelled.

"What?"

Gritting his teeth, Ron spoke slowly. "Where is my car?"

"Dude, I didn't steal any cars!" Ed protested. "I'm straight now!"

A skeptical eyebrow was raised. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Ron lowered his fist and climbed off of Motor Ed, who stood up and brushed himself off.

"Ever since you dudes and my coz saved the world from, like, complete destruction, I gave up on being evil," Ed explained. He motioned to the building which Ron had landed on. "And I opened this place. 'Motor Ed's Speed Shop.' It's, like, the best customs garage in the state of New Jersey! Spend my days making fast cars go faster."

"Oh," Ron said, rather impressed. "That's really great, Ed. I'm glad to hear you've come back over to the light side."

"...What?"

"Never mind. But if you didn't steal my car, then who did?"

"Maybe the same delinquent who jacked mine." Ed quickly produced a picture, holding it for Ron and Rufus to see. It was of a sleek muscle car painted jet black highlighted with some very realistic looking flames. "1969 Corvette Sting Ray. 350 cubic inch V8, four-speed manual trans, all numbers matching. Painted her myself."

"Wow, it's beautiful," Ron whistled.

"She sure was, Skinny Dude, she sure was. Then two nights ago, boom! Gone! Disappeared! It was locked up, in my garage, and somehow it just vanished. Like, seriously. I mean, like, without a trace. Locks weren't busted 'er nothing. Just gone."

"The same thing happened to me! My car was locked in my garage and just disappeared!"

"Dude, seriously, that is messed up. Seriously."

"I know! Seriously!"

"Dude, this is serious! You do not jack a man's ride. Seriously. It's just wrong."

"So wrong! And it's been happening all across the country. Dozens of cases of classic cars, gone without a trace."

Ed suddenly raised an eyebrow. "Wait...what's your ride, Dude? No offense, but, like, you don't really strike me as the classic muscle car type. Know what I mean?"

"Actually, for once, I do know what you mean. It's a long story," Ron said with a sigh. "But I have a 1970 Plymouth Superbird."

Ed's face lit up like a spotlight. "A Superbird?!" He yelled out and did his air guitar routine. "Dude, seriously, that is awesome! Like, seriously!"

Ron beamed with pride. Making Motor Ed excited was certainly high praise. "Thanks. I built it myself."

"No way! Painted, too?"

"No, not yet. That was the only thing left that I hadn't done."

Ed put his arm around Ron, which made the boy just a little uncomfortable. "Dude, I'll tell you what. You're, like, the crime fighting dude, and I know all about the criminals of the automotive world, you know, 'cause I used to be one. You help me get my Sting Ray back, and I'll paint your 'Bird for you."

Ron grinned excitedly. "Really? Booya!"

Ed guided Ron into his workshop. "C'mon. I got a couple ideas. We got some rides to rescue!"


	4. Motor Ron, Motor Rufus, and Motor Ed 2

**Motor Ron, Motor Rufus, and Motor Ed**

 **Part 2**

"So, like, where's Red, Bro?"

Ron was so busy focusing on the images scrolling past on the computer screen that question barely even registered in his head. "Huh? Oh, Kim? She's in London."

Ed stopped typing and raised a curious eyebrow. "For what?"

Ron sighed. "A college interview."

"Red's goin' to school across the pond? Really?"

"Actually, no. After the whole alien invasion thing, our local state college offered full scholarships to the both of us, and we accepted," Ron explained. "Kim had wanted to go to school abroad, but after all the destruction and such she decided she would much rather stay close to home." A small, thoughtful smile worked its way onto his previously hard face. "And close to me."

"Soooooo, like, why'd she go to the interview then? Seriously."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Because they insisted she come, and Kim still doesn't know how to say no. What is it that you're doing?" he asked, trying to return to the subject of their missing automobiles.

"Oh! I'm just, like, browsing this site on the deep web here. Some of the automotive world's, like, less honest dudes, use this site to buy and sell 'illegally obtained' merch. Thought I run through and see if any of the cars on the list of those stolen were on here."

"And are there?"

Ed scrolled a moment longer before answering. "That would be a big, fat 'no.' But," he continued, "But don't worry, I've got a plan B. I'm gonna put out a word to some of my old, uh, 'colleagues' on here and see if any of them have heard of anyone stealing these rides." He began furiously pounding on the computer keyboard, typing out a note. "Meantime, you might as well head home. I'll drop you a line second I hear something."

Ron's heart sank. He wasn't sure that Motor Ed actually possessed the skills necessary to track down a thief, but he did have the connections that even Wade did not possess. "Alright. Thank you, Ed."

"Hey, don't thank me yet."

Ron gave Motor Ed a contact frequency for the Kimmunicator, and with no real reason to stick around, Ron and Rufus went home.

* * *

 _Beep beep de beep!_

The sound of the Kimmunicator going off aroused Ron from his slumber. The clock on his night stand read 8:47am.

 _Beep beep de beep!_

Rufus yawned and muttered with annoyance at being woken up. Ron groaned and grabbed for the hand held device. The second the screen illuminated, his eyes widened, now fully awake, a smile on his face.

"Kim!"

 _"Hi, Ron,"_ the grinning redhead on the screen replied. _"Did I wake you?"_

"Huh? Pfft, nah."

 _"Ron, you're still in bed. I can clearly see that."_

"Oh, yeah...I guess I am."

Kim laughed. _"I just wanted to see how you were doing before I head into my interview in a couple minutes."_

"Your interview is this early in the morning?"

 _"Uh, Ron? Are you completely forgetting all the world travel we've done? Time zones? It's almost two o'clock here."_

"Riiiiiiiight." Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "So, how's London?"

Kim smiled. _"It's great! I-"_

 _Beep beep de beep!_ Both Kimmunicators rang simultaneously, cutting Kim off.

"Oh, hang on, KP." Ron tapped the answer-call button. Kim's image was moved to the left half of the screen as Motor Ed appeared on the right.

 _"Yo, Skinny Dude, what up?"_

 _"Motor Ed?"_ Kim gasped. _"Ron, what is going on?"_

Ron quickly sat up, and Rufus jumped into his lap to see the Kimmunicator's screen. "Hey, Ed. What's the sitch?" he asked, his tone very serious.

 _"I've got a lead on our rides."_

 _"Ron..."_ Kim spoke slowly. _"Why is Motor Ed on the Kimmunicator?"_

"Oh, I'll explain it to you later, KP. I-gotta-go-good-luck-on-your-interview-byyyyye!"

 _"Wait, Ron-!"_

Ron disconnected the original call, cutting off Kim mid-sentence. "What's up, Ed?"

 _"Well, I was reading some reports about the missing cars...turns out it isn't just cars that are going missing. Old motorcycles, wooden boats and yachts, antique airplanes, even a steam locomotive from the 1920's. And they all vanished without a trace from inside locked buildings. A hundred and seventy-one vehicles of various forms of transportation."_

"Whoever the thief is, they've sure been busy," Ron mused.

 _"Seriously.' So I was thinkin,' you gotta have some wicked space to hide all that stuff, so-"_

 _Beep beep de beep!_

Ron's thumb instinctively tapped the button to answer the call and the split screen returned, this time revealing Wade. _"Hey, Ron. 'Sup, Ed."_

"Whatcha got, Wade?"

 _"Ed called me a couple hours ago. He told me what he was thinking, about how you'd have to have quite a bit of space to hide all of those rather large vehicles,"_ Wade explained. _"I did a few calculations and added up the total volume of all the stuff that was stolen and then searched the internet for places that would be large enough to store it all."_

"I'm assuming you found something?" Ron asked.

 _"There's only one non-government owned open-space warehouse big enough to hide it all. It's in California."_

"Let me take a guess...it just came under new ownership."

 _"You're close. All those years of crime fighting are finally paying off,"_ Wade joked. _"It was recently rented, just after the thefts began, though I could not find out who the renter is. I did a thermal scan of the building and picked up something that is about the size of the stolen locomotive, and it's plenty hot enough to be it."_

 _"Then that's where we're headin!'" Motor Ed growled. "Meet you there, Skinny Dude?"_

"There in a flash!"

* * *

Ron was expecting to be first to arrive considering that Motor Ed had nearly twice the distance to travel to reach the warehouse. He and Rufus were quite surprised when they touched down from their skydive behind an abandoned tractor trailer and found Ed already there waiting for them.

"Ed! How did you beat me here?"

"Hey, when it comes to my rides, I don't mess around," Ed replied in a loud whisper. "Now come on!"

Before Ron could even get his parachute off, Ed was running half-crouched for the side of the warehouse. "Hey, wait, hold on!" Ron tripped over one of the parachute cords as he tried to follow. Rufus helped him get untangled and they hurried to join Ed, who was staring up at one of the high windows that wrapped around the perimeter of the building.

"Give me a boost, Skinny Dude, I wanna see inside."

"Uh, I don't think that- hurk!" Before Ron could protest, Motor Ed was trying to get up on Ron's shoulders. The boy teetered under his weight. "Don't you-ow! -think it would make more sense for me to- whoa!" Ed toppled to the ground as Ron fell over backwards, unable to support the larger man.

"You were saying?" Ed groaned.

Ron staggered to his feet and brushed himself off. "Wouldn't it make more sense for me to get on _your_ shoulders? Being that, you know, you actually have muscles?"

"Hmm...yeah, I guess you're right." With one hand, Ed plucked Ron up by the collar of his shirt and hoisted him up onto his shoulders. Still, Ron was several feet below the window.

"I can't see," Ron stated.

"Try standing up. I'll hold your legs so you don't fall."

Ed's broad, muscular shoulders actually made for a pretty good platform to stand on and Ron found that standing up was not difficult at all. Ed wrapped his beefy hands around Ron's calves anyway to steady him. Unfortunately, Ron's eyes were still a good two feet below the bottom of the window. "Uhhn! Still can't see! Rufus!"

The little naked mole rat quickly scurried into Ron's hand and rode up like an elevator. Ron's arms were just long enough to position Rufus in view of the window. "See anything, buddy?"

The reply came in the form of a shocked squeal. "Eep! Train! Cars!"

"Looks like we found the place," Ed muttered. He helped Ron down and took off at a jog along the side of the warehouse, searching for a door. His two companions hurried after him. When he reached the end of the warehouse, Ed began to turn the corner, but quickly stopped and ducked back, causing Ron to crash into him. "Hold up. There's trucks comin.'"

They all peeked around the corner. There were three large dump-trucks driving slowly up to the warehouse. The wall of the building seemed to part in the middle, much like the doors of an aircraft hanger, and the trucks drove in. "They're carryin' coal," Ed muttered. Before the last one was entirely through, Motor Ed loudly whispered "C'mon!" and broke for the door at a dead run. Ron and Rufus quickly followed. The doors were beginning to close by the time they reached the opening, and they ducked through just as they shut.

"Whoa..." Ed and Ron chorused.

Railroad tracks had been laid through the center of the warehouse and fifteen flatcars sat upon them, headed by a silent black steam locomotive. The dump-trucks were currently surrounding the locomotive, and workers were quickly scrambling to the top of the loads with shovels, tossing the coal into the nearly empty coal tender.

The flatcars looked brand new, the dark yellow paint not even scratched. Each had a ramp extending off one side to the concrete floor. It was obvious what their purpose was. Surrounding the train on either side, filling most of the rest of the warehouse, were the stolen cars, airplanes, boats, motorcycles and everything else that had disappeared. Workers were busily loading everything, rolling anything with wheels on to the train by hand and using a pair of cranes to lift and move the rest.

"Wow, they aren't fooling around," Ron started, but Motor Ed wasn't listening. His eyes were locked on something not far away.

"MY 'VETTE!" he yelled, and took off running toward the jet-black car about a hundred yards away.

Ron rolled his eyes as Ed sprinted off, attracting the attention of several of the workers. "Aaaaand there goes the element of surprise." Rufus covered his eyes and ducked into a pocket as Ron reluctantly hurried after his companion.

There were four workers in the general vicinity of Ed's Corvette. They grouped together as the burly man reached them, fists raised, prepared to fight.

Ed leaped into the air as he reached them, coming down on the worker in the center with a killer right hook, knocking him backwards. The other three grabbed Ed's arms before he could move to strike again, but Ed shrugged them off, elbowing one man hard enough to send him sailing through the air. Motor Ed decked a third worker, but then found his arms restrained again by two men on each side. He looked around as he sent another flying, and saw that workers from all around the warehouse were running, converging upon him.

Ron could see that Ed was in trouble. He was suddenly wishing that he had brought some of Kim's gadgets with him, but all he had was the Kimmunicator. Gadgets or not, he had to help Ed. "Hang on, Ed! I'm coming!"

Grabbing one of the workers holding Ed's left arm around the waist, Ron tried to pull the man off, but he immediately found himself being pulled away. "Hey! Let go!" He struggled hard, but no amount of effort from the scrawny boy could release him from the clutches of his captors. He found himself tackled to the hard concrete floor, held down by a strong foot on his back. A second later, Motor Ed crashed to the ground in front of him. It took four of the workers to hold him down.

"Let go!" Ed growled loudly.

Before more angry words could poor from Ed's mouth, the air fell silent, save for the sound of someone slowly clapping their hands. "Very good. Well done, boys, very well done."

Ron craned his neck, searching for the sound of the voice. A very tall, slim, middle aged-man stood over them, his black leather jacket and red bandanna giving him the appearance of a biker, but the pencil mustache on his lip, long, dark hair on his head and old-styled leather boots made Ron think he looked quite like a pirate. The fact that a scabbard containing a long, curved sword hung from the man's belt drove that idea home.

"I had a feeling that someone might try to reclaim their...er...vehicle," the man said, his voice deep and smooth, "but I cannot honestly say that you are what I was expecting." Before either Ron or Ed had a chance to say anything, the man addressed his workers. "Tie them up," he commanded, and then he swiftly disappeared.

* * *

Ed and Ron sat back to back on rusty folding chairs against the wall, the metal hot from the summer sun. The rope binding them was very thick, but it was old, smelled musty, and it's fraying strands irritated them where it touched bare skin. It likely was formerly used as mooring lines for ships. Ed struggled to break free, but all he managed to do was choke Ron when he pulled on the ropes.

"Hurk! Ed! *choke* Stop!"

"Sorry, Dude. Just trying to get free."

They had been sitting there for close to an hour. The train was nearly fully loaded, the various vehicles carefully tied down and covered with tarps. Ron had spotted them loading his unpainted Superbird about twenty minutes earlier. Now, the floor was nearly empty; only a dozen or so cars were left to load, as well as one wooden speedboat. More sounds drifted from the steam locomotive as it was prepared for departure.

Rufus had scurried from Ron's pocket and had been attempting to chew through the rope binding Ron's hand. Suddenly, they heard footsteps approaching. Rufus quickly scrambled between the chairs and the wall, out of sight as the man reappeared.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

"Not really," Ron snapped back.

The man ignored him. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Archibald Steven Smith." He paused dramatically. "The third."

"Uh-huh," Ed muttered. "And I'm Drew Lipsky," he lied. "Bro, Archie, like-"

Before Motor Ed could utter another word, Archibald rushed forward and clamped his hand around Ed's neck with surprising strength, cutting him off. Ed struggled for air as Archibald leaned close to his face, their noses just an inch apart. "Do not. Call me. 'Archie.'"

Ed could not reply. He just made a choking sound from his throat.

"Dude!" Ron cried. "He can't breathe! Let him go!"

Archibald squeezed harder for just a brief moment, his face twisted into a tight sneer. Then he released Ed, who promptly gasped and sucked in several sharp breaths. "Dude..." he panted. "Seriously?"

Ignoring Ed, Archibald turned to Ron. "And who would you be?"

Ron narrowed his eyes in anger. "You stole my car," was all he said.

"Ah, I see. And yours as well?" Archibald asked of Ed.

Ed was still panting for air, so he simply nodded.

Archibald chuckled, turning his back to his captives. "I suspected as much."

Rufus risked a peak out at the warehouse around them. He was fairly certain that he could work on biting through the ropes around Ed's body without being seen, so he crawled up Ed's side, careful to remain out of sight. Ed felt Rufus climbing his shirt, and he glanced at the naked mole rat. Rufus held up one claw to his mouth to signal the big man to be quiet, and Ed nodded, barely noticeable, and Rufus began gnawing at the heavy rope.

Archibald stood silent for a moment, waiting for one of his captives to speak, but both just stared at him, unsure of his intent. "Well?" he finally asked.

Ron raised a confused eyebrow. "'Well' what?"

"Aren't you going to ask me how I did it?"

Ron shook his eyes in confusion. "How you did...what?"

"Why, how I stole all of these things without a trace, of course."

The boy rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. How did you do it?"

Archibald spun around to face them and waggled a finger in their direction. "Uh-uh-uh! A magician never reveals his secrets."

"Okay, fine. Whatever," Ron shrugged, but no sooner were the words out of his mouth before Archibald spoke again.

"Well, if you insist, I'll tell you!"

Ron could only roll his eyes once more. _This guy is like an even more childish version of Drakken._

A devious smile curled onto the face of the man before him, and Archibald drew a device from his breast pocket. He gazed upon the small remote fondly, obviously quite proud of it. "I invented this myself. It is a matter transmitting device. With it, I can move any object wherever I want without ever touching it." He placed it back into his jacket. "Of course, it takes a lot of power, and the more matter I attempt to move at one, the less distance I can move it before the power is exhausted. For instance, it only allows me to move a car about one hundred yards or so before needing a recharge. Something small like a book I could transmit from here to Florida." A flourish of his hand gestured to the idling steam locomotive behind him. "Hence the train. I must move my...treasure...to a better hiding spot than this."

"Yeah, about that," Ron began, "why are you stealing...you know...planes, trains and automobiles...mostly automobiles...and boats...and motorcycles-"

"What's your deal, bro?" Ed interrupted. "Like, seriously!"

Archibald smiled innocently. "I am simply a collector. The things I wish to collect are just...difficult to come by. And though I am most definitely wealthy enough to _buy_ all of these beautiful works of mechanical art, some people are too attached to their things to even accept more than reasonable monetary offers."

"So you just steal it all," Ron quipped.

"I prefer to think of it as 'Unpermitted Collecting."

"Yeah, okay, sure." Motor Ed growled the words. "Real cute. Whatever. I want my Corvette back."

Archibald just laughed. He punctuated the chortle with a curt, "No." Then he stalked away, calling back over his shoulder, "I aim to leave you here. Perhaps you'll die of heat exhaustion, perhaps you won't, but even if you are rescued, I'll be long gone and my treasure safely hidden by then."

Ed's teeth ground together in anger. "I really hate that guy."

Ron ignored him, instead turning toward the wall to address Rufus. "How you making out, buddy?"

The naked mole rat squeaked tiredly in reply. He was nearly through the rope, but wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. His huge teeth were beginning to ache.

"Just keep going a little longer, Rufus." Ron glanced toward the train. The concrete floor of the warehouse around it was empty. A crane was lifting the last item, the wooden speedboat Ron had noticed earlier, onto a flatcar.

"And please hurry."

 **This has become a much longer story than I had anticipated, so there will be one more part. Ugh...Here I am wanting to move on to something much more exciting and involved and I find myself unable to because I have this still unfinished...**


End file.
